no matter what I fall asleep watching on YouTube, I wake up to an hbomb video essay playing

(seductively) hey there big shitter

no never they're in it for the love of the game

the other day and old lady told me my voice is very pretty but you losers will never know that

hey girl wanna come over and secretly spoke my drink with a deadly toxin while I fix my makeup in the bathroom. but oh no, I noticed my cup was slightly off when I got back and switched them when you weren't paying attention so now*you* accidentally drink your own toxin

hey girl wanna come over and knock me over the head really hard and drag my limp body to a secluded river

I have a new job and one of my coworkers is a terf :c

woke up to @katl69420.bsky.social singing: "I'm gonna stick my dick in a bag of Doritos, my girlfriend's name is bag of Doritos"

I KEEP GOOGLING AND I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING ARE YOU SURE SOMETHING HAPPENED ON 9/11???