Im in the mood to laugh with horror. Please share the absolute worst pick-up lines that were ever used on you? The worst I’ve gotten is in a computer lab as an undergrad: “Hey, tell me your username so I can ‘finger’ you 😏” (finger is a Unix command that gives you info about a user) 🤢🤢🤢🤢
I was 15 years old and a grown man walked up to me at a bus stop and said, "I love small nostrils, and yours are the smallest I've ever seen!" I was so grossed out I don't even remember what I said to get rid of him.
When I was a high school teacher (and divorced), one of my students told me he'd make a good stepdad for my daughter. I was unconvinced.
“I’m so-and-so, and [sotto voce] im desperate]” She was at a bar with her roommate, whom I knew through a friend, and I just happened to grab a seat next to them on a Friday night. They both attended the local girls-only college. I was both flattered (not the guy anyone hit on) and offended.
Your writing is so unique. What's your secret?
Country Western Bar in TX early 90’s: “Your blue eyes make me want to buy you a drink.” Me: My eyes aren’t blue. “It’s dark in here. Can I buy you a drink or not?” Me: “Yeah, but you're the one with the blue eyes. My eyes are hazel. Okay?“ “Whatever. You have a nice ass. Happy now?”
He showed up on my doorstep at 3 in the afternoon in a black polyester robe and boxer combo, introduced himself, and said in his most seductive voice "Can use your phone? I give you a quarter." And winked. I had never met that man in my life.
As a 18 yr old kid, I met her at a tutor's place. I considered myself quite the budding poet back then, and my opening line after a few days of conversation was, "You look like a raven seeking shelter from a norwester." It worked, we were together for the next 8yrs, I lost her to depression.
I was *Very* drunk and very confidently introduced myself with a dead baby joke, which was fine amongst my circle of degenerate friends, not so much with normal people. It was not successful.
Trust me I’m a doctor.
“I think we should have sex!” I mean, granted, we were in a bar (maybe we were dancing?) and I knew him in a kind of distant way (up to then had been pretty sure he was gay)