more like Supreme Court injustices, amirite

wow you’re so detail- oriented!! (derogatory)

99% of parenting is just sitting down and getting right back up

the gay agenda? you mean making a big pot of soup and sharing it with a group of gay people while you collaboratively complete a kitten puzzle

instead of asking “how are you,” we should start conversations with “so what’s been haunting you this week”

i’m basically an avocado. come at me before I’m ready and I’m like GET AWAY FROM ME but then ignore me for two seconds and I will ROT

wish I loved anything as much as Gwyneth Paltrow loves being unrelatable

the way I feel about Bluesky is exactly how I felt with my boyfriends in high school before I came out. like I WANT to want to, but my heart’s not in it

nothing makes you feel better about your relationship than married upstairs neighbors who are always SCREAMING

does anyone else pronounce Bluesky in their head like blue-skee? you know, like a brewskie? like hey kid, grab uncle Eddie a blue-skee! Or am I just Midwestern