no one talks about how buying a watermelon is one of the most luxurious things someone in their 20s can do

Tell me you live in North America without telling me

i came back to say that i saw watermelons at the grocery yesterday and said, "this is not for me. i'm not in my 20s"

ok but what now

fresh fruit tastes better without air conditioning

The ability for watermelon to hydrate (especially when hungover) is magical.

You inspired me to add a watermelon to my delivery order.

Seems similarly daunting. I’d have to pick an acceptable specimen, take it home intact, wash it, cut it into pieces, find enough storage, and remember to eat it all before it rots.

*whispers* and in your 30s too, crisp cold hydrating fruit slaps at any age

And as my university aged niece used to do, poke a hole in the watermelon and add extra hydration with a funnel and a bottle of vodka.

Taking it a step further you can solidify your 1st world privilege by not eating it and then throwing it out when it's turned bad.