Murakami-cels are furious

It’s also one of those situations where, if you don’t immediately hit me in the face after calling me a beta male, I think we’ve already got the hierarchy sorted, buddy

I think it can only be summoned by me posting a pathetic, schlubby selfie of some kind. As soon as I lose six pounds I’ll do so.

A few streaks of unpainted Hardie allow for the faux rustic masonry to shine in a fashion almost akin to folk-artistry. It is a conversation with future and the past.

I’m imagining you are carrying a shopping bag filled with some branzino filets and you’re slightly concerned about the temperature situation in this scenario

Imagining the giant spring loaded hand slapping people who talk loudly in movie theaters

No but I definitely knew where the undergarment section of the catalog was.

Watching a sexy babe come down the Service Merchandise conveyor belt when I was 12 would’ve changed the entire trajectory of my life

David, I feel like you’ve missed something that merits consideration in your assessment of Klute and that is: Jane Fonda in Klute, disembowel me with a sharp knife

That’s why they went bankrupt. They need to expand their client base