A bird just looked me straight in the eye and pooped. I can’t decide if it was asserting dominance or if I am just a horrifying sight to behold 🥲

why not both?

I'd just put it down to incontinence.

Your beauty is such that he lost control of his bodily functions. The highest compliment.

Perhaps it looked into your eyes and saw the spectre of death.

All I know is it sounds like a comic idea lol