At a posh work conference, went to the toilet & was so constipated I had to dig it out. Chatting to someone shortly after, we exchanged business cards. Realised my fingernail was fringed with shit. To this day don't know if they saw it - or the wave of horror across my own face

This is why you wash your hands, and also use a protective layer of toilet roll when going digging

Was COVID invented purely to teach people how to wash their hands properly? 🤔

Stop sleeping in fishnets then, Gerald! Sheesh!!

JESUS CHRIST WASH YOUR HANDS 😱

💩

I sometimes wish I had a less vivid imagination. This is one of those times.

Top Tip: Learn how to wash your hands

Nailed it.