Like you say, not having that kind of just makes it difficult to connect to. I only really started feeling strongly for the characters around the midpoint when stuff began to click and by the end I cared very deeply. I think a second watch, with an understanding of the shape of it, would go better

Yeah I think if you don't have either the "grew up in Small Town USA in the 90s" angle or the "gender is killing you from the inside" angle then I can't imagine it's the same film.