My uncle got early onset dementia and my aunt had to cash out all retirement accounts and spent down all their savings . She was considering divorcing him so he would qualify for Medicaid but he died first. The only other option was selling the house. He was 63

... I think for a lot of people the so-called transfer of generational wealth is actually going from their parents to the healthcare system

ouch

That's terrible. I am so sorry.

The fact that "divorce to separate medical expenses" is a viable and necessary strategy is something that should be looked on as a sign of a failing state. Utterly grotesque.