There's a giant, bright green bug in my house so I guess I have to move now

My boy 🩷

That baby must be cool as fuck

JD Vance's mom should have aborted him

Damn Spotify is digging DEEP

"good food takes time" I say, as I tap a cat food can to get the last chunks out for my impatient cat

In case you lack context:

It's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers

Buying a house was the dumbest shit I've ever done, and I have done a LOT of dumb shit.

My office smelled like burnt toast today too and I had the same thought since we don't have a toaster