Its a lot to talk about, but essentially, Ive felt almost the exact same for over half a year now. I got into pixel art recently though and its made me feel a lot better about art. Didnt fix it, but its better. Trying a new medium can be refreshing, maybe you need something like that.

Sorry if you werent looking for advice or anythin and just wanted to talk about it. I know its been painful for me trying to get over this wall, so I thought it might help a little bit like it helped me