My 4th grade teacher made an ill-considered joke at the start of the year that if anyone squealed the chalk she would cut their finger off with a rusty jackknife she kept in her drawer and weeks later when my friend Danny squeaked it she slowly opened her drawer and pandemonium ensued.

How is Danny Ninefingers doing these days, anyway?

Can anyone actually control the chalk squeak?

that is freeking hilarious and so spot in fourth grade