Me : invents a device to talk to cats Cat : oh god finally you understand whenever I meow for hours it’s because i want wet food I know this was so opaque for you Me : no no I knew u want wet food the whole time but you can’t have it whenever u want Cat : Me : Cat : first of all fuck you

The thing to understand about owning a cat is that, once you do, your dwelling becomes their dwelling and it is by their generosity that they are allowed you to live there with them.

TBH, first line and last line work together without the rest. 😂

I used to think cats were picky. Then I met this fucker. Thought he liked some things other then walnuts and almonds till I found he had dragged them and tossed them over the balcony.

Me: You see, humans have these things called healthy eating and discipline. Cat: I'm well aware of how you justify your unhealthy body image, Jessica. Me: Me: My name's not Jessica.

Mine would be sitting there going: "Look, you went into the room that has food and treats, and didn't come out with food or treats, so I had to remind you what you forgot in there"

Have you tried water food Mr Cat? It's an interesting Haute cuisine (well more like hot cuisine :) alternative to standard wet & dry food & Billi recommends it :) www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkKT...

😂😂😂 Oh god. Oh god. fuckingng DYING.

I have this conversation twice a day every day. I *KNOW* what she's saying. 🤣😂

Great . . . now we have to explain capitalism to cats. And they're just going to have even more contempt for us once we've done it.

I'm looking forward to a CatGPT that can do this translation for me.