My secretary Noémie, though 35 years my junior, is whip-smart, sharp as a tack, tough as nails, switched-on, put-together, and fiercely loyal.
I stand frequently accused, by Bluesky’s resident clods and dolts, of lacking a sense of humor. While I am committed more to logic and reason than I am to japes and buffoonery, I will concede that I am amused by the ongoing inquiry into the ontological relationship between hot dogs and sandwiches.
I wonder often about that first witless fool who saw fit to top pizza pie (a vulgar dish no doubt) with pineapple (a debauched olfactory pairing from any perspective), and have discussed the issue at length with the Reddit community. Where is he now? And could surgery have tamed his obscene desires?
Despite my great distaste for dopers, hopheads, and glue-sniffers, the science is undeniable. I've conducted some of my most inspired surgeries under therapeutic doses of experimental empathogen-entactogens.
Surgery is life. It’s an ordeal. It’s sensuous. It’s an eruption of creativity.
Surgery shapes me, and through it, I shape the world. It’s a state of frenzy, a tactile and olfactory bouquet. It is a horror and a kindness. It is my opus.
“Surgery is a living science. Discovery is around every corner, lurking in every nook of the thoracic cavity, behind every entrail. Each day, I uncover new techniques, organs, perspectives...the surgical establishment is too fearful of getting things wrong to ever get them right.” —H.S.
It goes without saying that women are my favorite clients; their lively spirit stimulates the intellect, such that their supple forms become like divine clay under my learned scalpel.
An impressive scientific achievement, no doubt. Perhaps one day, we will achieve 100% effectiveness at stopping transmission of stupidity, in human models. Sigh.
Uhh… Intranasal COVID vaccine. 100% effective at stopping transmission, in animal models. Results validated in two papers in Nature. Hoping to start human trials within the year. Holy shit.
A team of researchers from the University of Houston have developed a new vaccine to treat and prevent the spread of flu and multiple coronavirus strains.
A crowdsourced query: what is the most effective punishment for a flighty Doordasher? Have any of you disciplined one at the point of service? If so, did you observe a quantifiable improvement in the service moving forward?