So no. I do not agree with this for several reasons 😬 Sorry bestie but when it comes to safe sex this is my limit. I will not budge when aftercare is part of the scene, hormonally, emotionally, and biologically. If not for you, then your non asexual partner. Because they also matter after ✋

If someone just got done choking, objectifying, and degrading you and then said “oh aftercare makes me uncomfortable” and left, you would literally be psychologically damaged. Like “I need a therapist bc essentially I was SA’d” and didn’t consent to this

Aftercare doesn’t have to be physical or emotional either! Like you can literally just be in each other’s presence doing your own things until the glow wears off.

because sex in general isn’t going to be healthy for a relationship if you get uncomfortable by a required part of the act You know how musicals end and people take a bow? Aftercare is CLOSURE. It’s mandatory. It’s like how you have a tripsitter for drugs.

Are your partners also ace and experience the same thing? Because if they aren’t, you should be providing THEM aftercare. It’s a two way street. It’s part of the act of sex regardless. If it makes you overwhelmed or uncomfortable, you need to have a serious talk with them.

Idk tbh, I don’t care enough to even check them out to block them, it’s like more effort than they’re worth

I have a feeling if I looked at my followers list at least 50% of it would be porn bots

Possibly the worst thing I ever did for my mental health was comparing myself to like the beautiful trans dolls that model or are huge porn actresses It made me feel so gross and masculine by comparison. You only feel good once you stop comparing your beauty to others 💜

Yeah, I have no doubt she’s suffering, but also you have no obligation to subject yourself to doomerism and be pulled down back into a crab bucket, especially when it’s frequent behavior. It’s emotionally draining and eventually you just give up. And that’s okay. There’s only so much you can do.

The racism you’ve mentioned though adds another layer that I’m sorry you went through Idk what it was, but it doesn’t matter what it was, I just hope you’re okay now 💜