"I know ads made some of the most unethical companies in the world billions of dollars, make almost every web page they infect unusable, consume massive amounts of data with auto playing videos, and opened the door to endless scams...but!"

Also attest

As a former late-90s/early 00s forum shit-stirrer myself, I can absolutely arrest to this.

"As a husband, and father of daughters...."

That would require caring about sentient things. I'd say they value women the same way they value their truck (albeit the woman is still lower in that particular hierarchy).

I absolutely endorse as many Republican voters as possible trying this advice out for, uh, science.

"Please don't put in the newspaper I got off on it"

"Forbidden as in banned by the state?" "No, not like that." "Then forbidden how?" "Oh, you know."

Also very funny (see: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves)

I'm a straight man but even I was like, damn, that dude is just beautiful.