also with the gift part, i HATE accepting gifts outside of specific "gift giving" times like christmas or birthday's or whatnot, i feel guilty, it feels even worse if i have no choice about it, and i am thankful for it either way though, unless specific conditions where it puts pressure on me pfft-

Maybe you think on always repaying everything you get? Which is a thought you can get over it by the years, maybe you're just too nice and young so such thoughts consumes you easier, but it's fine really. If someone gives anything expecting something back, I find it sus so I return whatever it is.