floch: This bloodline ends with me. jean: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

armin: What are your three best qualities? eren: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

levi: I need to cover my body in medicated shampoo. jean: So that’s where he’s at right now.

jean, to floch and eren: *holding knife out in front of them* Are you or are you not an enemy of the people?! eren: ... floch: ... eren: That is such an open-ended question. floch: Yeah, it really depends on a lot of different factors-

jean: Can I ask you for a favor? floch: I would literally die for you, but continue. eren: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

armin: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our base? connie: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

jean: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

jean: I'm never having a debate with armin again, he literally started his argument with "Riddle me this."

eren: I got extra paperwork for a whole week just because I came home late. levi: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

the Squad at Disneyland, in the teacups armin, mikasa, and levi: *spinning a little and talking* floch, jean, and eren: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*