People keep asking why this viral baby hippo is constantly seen biting everything and everyone and according to experts there’s a really interesting reason: he’s a piece of shit

No! No!!

That IS interesting.

I mean, he's a hippo, natures greatest monster. He's cute because he's too small to be a monster effectively yet.

Nice joke. But before someone takes it seriously the real reason is of course because he is teething, human babies do the same thing.

Clearly they have also not met a baby human.

Anyway the book is out Tuesday and just imagine it's like 140,000 words of stuff just like this: bit.ly/boxofdoom

I’m Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom

From the New York Times bestselling author of John Dies at the End—an absolutely hilarious and brilliantly weird new standalone novel