This is why a lot of lawyers succeed despite being egregiously bad lawyers.

He was told there would be no math

As time’s person of the year in 2006, I can relate

Pete rose died

Oh yeah, I had a second round interview with them, but I lost out to cocaine.

Weird Al Yankovic’s Devo parody “Dare to be Stupid” is on par with any Devo song.

Surprised at the absence of burlap bags with dollar signs on them

Joey, you ever been in a Turkish luxury hotel room?

We believe in redemption around here

Whoever said that prayer doesn’t work. Checkmate atheists