I made a joke like a decade ago that Billy Joel could write an entire new We Didn’t Start the Fire every week and it’s only gotten more true. Just picturing him frantically writing, glancing anxiously at a clock. A screen lights up with the latest six new stories and he screams “fuck” like a reflex.

We could trap him in a bunker like in Lost where he has to crank out new lyrics on the regular to stop something horrible from happening. Toss Billy Corgan down there too. He writes better when pissed off. Record execs? You know how to find me. Let's do it.