“The baby is going to fit around our schedule and lifestyle.” - hilarious things all my first time parent friends have said.

That's part of why I don't want kids: I'm wise enough to be aware that this would not be true at all. Which, funnily enough, makes me more suited for being a parent than these chucklelords

Can a fetus laugh maniacally?

Whilst a baby, she more or less did (we were both working half-time jobs, which helped) - since reaching school age, less so.

Second children onward, sure. They don't get the option to have the world revolve around them.

This is actually true, but only because the baby will *become* their schedule and lifestyle

Babies aren't great at taking direction.

but it might work for us

Have a fresh one here as well, but we thankfully had no such ideas. We more assumed “our life to the world-at-large is largely over” and when it was proven true it was less of a blow😂

frankly: lmao

I always smile sweetly!