Libraries don't have to be a "drag" ... www.theonion.com/catch-as-cat...@theonion.com

Catch-As-Catch-Vatican

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The Juice and his "Squeeze" - together again ❤️ www.theonion.com/end-zone-rec...@theonion.com

End Zone Reception

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Clarence (and his John) Thomas - ready for the weekend! #FridayVibes@theonion.com

A chip off the old cock. @theonion.comwww.theonion.com/campaign-tai...

Campaign Tail

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Our Innocent Kids are "out of step" and I'm "App"-opleptic about it. @theonion.com

Now he's made it through those golden goalposts in the sky. @theonion.com

How long must our agony continue? @theonion.com

Congratulations to America's Tunesmith on his 100th Residency at MSG. Only the Good Die Young! @theonion.com

They say April is "the cruelest month," but every four years politics-obsessed Sickos make it March instead, just like this year ... @theonion.com

The youth of today has no respect. @theonion.comwww.theonion.com/deface-of-wa...

Deface Of War

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