Blessed are the appease-makers. @theonion.com

Couched in politics. My latest: www.theonion.com/sofa-so-good...@theonion.com

Sofa So Good

The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

How's YOUR weekend going? @theonion.com

We'll always have Paris.

Live shot from Paris. @theonion.com

Today our former Commander-in-Chief selflessly visited the National Association of Black Journalists and told them all about this: @blacknandv.bsky.social@theonion.com

Listen up. www.theonion.com/right-ear-ri...@theonion.com

Right Ear, Right Now

The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.

Tokyo, Paris ... different city, same old same old. From the last time Innocent Viewers had to endure this. @theonion.com

I can neither confirm nor deny.

Thirst Lady. @theonion.com