I’d rather catheterize myself with a soiled didgeridoo

My anxiety prevents me from watching but keeps me glued to the liveskeets.

Comedy show?

This is the kind of florid prose that only legal scholarship provides

A very disturbed Crocodile Dundee: That’s not a…. knife?

Hey! I have a soiled didgeridoo!! Oh.

I would rather poke my eyeballs out with a pitchfork

Gross but same.

Real talk New York Times has fallen off, where's the NYT that got called 'Super fake news' at every opportunity?! Come on guys, you gonna let ABC beat you in that category? You guys were the KING of Real-Fake News!

PBS

I weep for your urethra but I understand.