Hey @theonion.com, do you have a Poetry Bureau? I'm a Combat Philosopher in need of some cash to help people. I'd apply to be a writer, but I know the others there need THAT money more than I do. Let me know, or give me a quick project for proof-of-concept. Sharp quills and quick minds. Peace*

*Shooting my shot* They peeled back the layers to see what was inside They dove so far down That it felt as an ocean crushed them Drowning But the salt And the water that surrounded them Only tears And then They knew The Truth So bitter, and what else could they do, but swallow it whole?*