TEENS: (walk into medical exam room) ME: This room is empty except for me. DOCTOR: (behind glass) Fascinating. He's teenblind. He is effectively blind to the physical presence of teens. ME: The show Scooby Doo is about a scared dog who lives alone in a car.

what rough beast its hour come round at last slouches towards bethlehem to be born! at the disco

Calvin’s dad thought leader

just tell him you’re a Kiwi

I tell you, it is all of these at the same time

my traditional post-repast lie-and-groan

my god post the whole thing!

#birdbot

sad but fair

“No tears, Raggy.”