*affixes candy corn teeth* *admires in mirror*

wait wait wait put me back on hold I love that song

those people who give water to runners only it’s someone who shoves mashed potatoes into my mouth as i walk to my car

Sorry it took me six hours to respond, I was thinking about Don Knotts

As you see, it's a spooky day, the spirit halloween stores are open and people are having a slutty death time. Amity, as you know, ends with ville horror.

starting to get a lil spooky up in here

BATMAN: I’ve got you now THE JOKER: you’re too late; I’ve already signed you up for a lifetime subscription to Parents magazine B: oh no J: oh yes, and you’ll receive your first issue on FATHER’S DAY B: you monster

being a kid who was given a treat after I did anything I didn't want to do created an adult monster who internally screams "and where TF is my ice cream?" after every minor inconvenience

We're sorry, but your submission of Subject: Joke To: Bluesky cc: Followers Has been denied

I'm a bad boy. No, not like that. I'm bad at everything I do.