I need to know if either WoW rng is fake or what God did I piss off to have eternally cussed dice. This is usually the norm for me

One of things people misunderstand about randomization it is clusters of preferred or unpreferred outcomes are intrinsic. You're just one of the bad clusters. Computers don't use true RNG anyway, so if luck is going bad, try again later, as in the algorithms sometimes use the clock as a seed.