sorry mommy its scary

its not getting better its not getting better its not getting better its not getting better its not getting better i want to die i want to die

everyone deserves better than me existing it would be so much better if i could actually end it right here right now cant even do that right

cant do anything right cant stop panicking over the smallest things the trash can is overflowing i dropped the clean duvet cover on the floor had to throw away a new pack of wet wipes not getting anywhere better want it to end here dont want to be annoyance anymore dont want to hurt ppl anymore

is it bad that i still instinctively feel jealous when i see mommy interacting with just about anyone

wish some day mommy would be there to stop us

used like twenty wet wipes and ten or some alcohol wipes and washed hands a dozen times before we even realized what was going on

just want to feel safe for once

it was going so well

hate panic attack