Back in the olden days you really needed to sell it:

That's a hell of a dating profile

This is Ohio Excellence, right here

meanwhile on Nextdoor

Where most women 18-40 would have put a big red X on this, all we see here is a little one. Hope for our shirtless Lothario?

Reminds me of the locker room scene in Community "You are a very confident confident man" "But you shouldn't be"

Smoking while shirtless in a cramped kitchen used to be the leading form of entertainment.

Wait is the modern sexual life from the Ohio area different from the modern sexual life from any other area?