Slapping my knees and saying “welp” as I stand up so the hostage-takers have to let me go home

Yes, but not for thirty minutes. Minimum.

Next stage: awkward hugs. Promises to be taken hostage next year, around the same time.

Nonverbal cues are universal

Knee slap + welp is just Stage 1 in the leaving process. You've still got to get to the door. Then put on your coat. Then go out & stand next to the car. Then get in the car, but w/ the windows rolled down. Your captors will still have hours, if not Days, to collect the ransom

Sure was a great time, thanks for the duct tape, going right on the ol' muffler. Yeah, nope, really gotta get to headin out. Hit the ol dusty trail, but yup, oh no, you really don't have to send me out with leftovers, oh you shouldn't have, but sure, we'll give em a good home.

Better than my plan of just going "So..." and trailing off to make things awkward

“Ope! Just gonna skootch by you” on your way out

And a tiny casual Salute that’s half a wave.

*Looks at phone* gosh I gotta take this

"no funny business" "welp... time to hit the dusty trail" "oh no not again... :( "