Which felt an awful lot like when Christianity said I couldn't sit with them because I held certain beliefs, like being pro-LGBT and pro-choice. Imagine gatekeeping Satan lmao 2/2
Anyway, I recently checked out The Satanic Temple because I align pretty well with their values and core beliefs of not being an asshole and bettering yourself but they said "you can't sit with us" simply because I hold a belief in the original Greek definition of daemons. 1/2
I also learned a new psychology term today called "existential loneliness", which I think is a huge part of my issues. Being rejected by friend groups all throughout my life certainly doesn't help. I remember going into 5th grade and none of my friends liked me anymore. They said it to my face.
Aw man I love cars 🥲
Learned recently I likely can't keep friends because of emotional neglect which caused C-PTSD in childhood. So to answer my age-old question, yes, the problem is me. 🥲🥲
I've been told furries are always friendly and happy to make new friends but all the groups I've joined so far no one wanted to talk to me. Just flat out ignoring my messages. Like wtf? Why am I so repulsive to people? Am I ugly?
My entire life I've always existed on the outskirts of social circles. I might drift closer in for a while and then like clockwork I'm back on the outside. Excluded from hangouts and even just straight up lied to about things. "Oh we don't use ___ app anymore" but they do, just not with me. 🙁
Am I that fucking annoying? Am I mean? Do I smell? I'm so confused. I just don't get it. I've even made plans to take trips with people and then they change their plans at the last moment after I've already bought tickets and everything. I just want to know why everyone abandons me.
Tired of being pushed and shoved away by everyone. I'm so desperate for friends and human interaction but it never pans out for me. Even my own sister makes excuses for not hanging out with me. I'll make friends and then they'll just ghost me after a while and I never get a single reason why. 😞
What if we had the little worm in the flying apple car from The Busy World of Richard Scarey buzzing around with bees and butterflies instead of wasps and horseflies. God could've given us whimsy and joy, but instead he gave us horrors beyond our imagination. And I didn't even get a lousy T-shirt.