The crushing weight of irrational shame and anxiety ,,
How come I can still see ppls posts even tho I muted the person.....
I still feel p awful š ughhh
Like so far that's the second time someone has called me the n word in that community, but the first time I was called it multiple times by diff ppl this time this guy had a slur list and just raffled that shit off in my inbox like ok all on anon too
I should become a full fledged dnd & in general OC artist and just focus my attention to that. Then again like. The xiv ppl who follow me on here are not bad! At all! It's just ....my goodness everywhere else is hell.
Before I head off. So far this is the only app where I haven't been violently racially attacked by someone from the FFXIV community ! Wow the bare minimum. Sighing ok goodnight.
ahhh ok im gonna focus on ocs and stuff for tonight! i think still im just feeling bad from incidents w other ppl who arent my friends anymore that weren't my fault earlier this year & last year that have been making me feel p bad. i just want to draw and relax :'< also wanna delete twt again fhsgk
Ughh I might ask on my main but idk if I will even get an answer, I feel defective man
clawing my eyes out