WAITER: Are you ready to order, sir? ME: Yes — I’d like a burrito please. WAITER: <begins measuring my head>

YOU, AN ORDINARY FOOTBALL FAN: Wow, the Bucs were winning this game 24-0 halfway through the 2nd quarter, I can’t believe it’s about to be a 10-point game. ME, A MICHIGAN FAN WHO WATCHED YESTERDAY’S JUG GAME: ಠ_ಠ

Well, there’s your problem

Vita Vea didn’t sack Jalen Hurts just now so much as he one-man-stampeded him.

Can check (drinking from a glass, tho’, because that’s just something nice I do for me)

Just helped reassure a friendly woman and her mother shopping at Sam’s Club that whether or not the pack of bottled water she bought was labeled ‘spring water’ she should feel confident it contains zero animal pee.

@edsbs.bsky.social@hollyanderson.bsky.social@celebrityhottub.bsky.social@jasonkirk.fyi behold the duality of man

LOL FSU P.S.: LMAO

ULM 🤝 MICHIGAN

Drew Allar just made a business decision.