I am genuinely amazed that this conversation does not appear to be part of straight courtship! bsky.app/profile/ashe...

Various “bad hookup” trend pieces like this get written on a fairly regular basis and I think basically large percentages of men are terrible and there is no heuristic women can use to figure out which ones aren’t

Yet another area in which the bdsm folks are wholesome and well behaved

Unfortunately, many men do not listen to what women say. So even if the conversation happened, it may not help. Also, there are many men who like to make women do what they want--and there is even a pervasive idea that women cannot know what we want and so men are allowed to simply make us do stuff.

It is in sex positive circles.

I mean, can you really be surprised that het men push women’s boundaries?

It's hard to talk about without coming off a certain way, but I can say for sure I've heard far more women say things like "guys asking before they kiss you is a turnoff" than the opposite. Even if a straight guy tries to approach things this way, there's a good chance he gets trained out of it

In my experience Any discussion about what you might want to do with men ends up with some element of ‘pushing you to do more things’ like anal. Not with all men but way way too many. So maybe women don’t want to deal w it.

precisely. as some others have said in the replies here: consent is actually a lot of fun. I've always found it sort of amazing hearing friends talking about their sex lives that people don't talk during it. boring af if you ask me

Straight men, who were fine with trying to drag the convo in sexual direction moments earlier, are usually startled and defensive when I say pretty much exactly this. Turns out they often just want me to provide them with dirty talk for free. Discussing consent bums them out.

Us neurodivergents typically do the same. Lots of straightforward planning and negotiating.