My phone's mad at me because I'm not in New York anymore and not walking six miles per day. Sorry, phone. We're back in the suburbs. We're driving two blocks to Chili's to get inauthentic variations on egg rolls and we're into it. This is your life now, phone

My phone would be mad at me if I bought egg rolls at Chili's too.

Yes! My least favorite part about the Apple Watch is that after five years it hasn’t learned that my life is a mess because I move constantly. I want an alert when I’m going to have a heart attack because of anxiety, not when my recovery HB trend is off because I’m now somewhere that has stairs.