I love that!

Now I just wish my tiddies would grow so I can use them as stress balls.

Sometimes colonization is good. The Germans did give us hamburgers. And I can't live without hamburgers. Their how this ass got so fat. *As I do my little Ice Spice Emote*

I'm getting the remaining roommate on my side. He's also trans. We're starting a mutiny. Unfortunately, their white. Its not the best look, were both kind of colonizers to this black man. But hey, its ok.

But guess what, I don't want to share the island. I WANT IT ALL, BITCH. As a matter of fact, this is a dictatorship. Its my apartment now.

Geography is hard--its ok. I just learned where Israel and Palestine were on a map last week.

And funnily enough, the kitchen island is right between us! Thats like the divider. Like the actual island DR and Haiti are on, Hispaniola. We're kind of on opposite ends. I'm really pushing this metaphor for people who don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

And I kind of get the landlord on my side. You know he's Jewish, he's had to start a war before with an oppressed minority before. He gets it.

Like any punk, I hate authorities, and cops, and landlords. But I tell our landlord the situation, tell him how shitty and manipulative of a roommate he is, and how he's hogging all the resources.

So now im like, okay motherfucker, I gotta colonize some shit. I'm colonizing our apartment. This is the Haitian-Dominican war of 1844. I don't want to start a dictatorship, but if I have to, i'm Trujillo.