Can we all just agree that "winning" a debate is not a thing that happens in reasonable debates? I keep hearing about American debates and people saying "who won x debate" If a debate has a winner, the debate probably wasn't worth listening to.

No. I get what you are saying, but I was taught to debate in competition to persuade. There is a tradition of that. Plus, why would they BE debating if they were both not trying to persuade more people than the other?