I think a strategy to address that has been to make the enemy on the oppressive side "not needlessly cruel" and maybe make them question the order of things in some ways right from the start. Which... Is not enough for me to actually feel like rooting for the romance.

And it's also the root of "if they'd just get to know someone of the oppressed group better, they wouldn't do what they do" and that's such a harmful way of framing the dynamic that I usually just gag over it and move on.