VICTORY! TOTAL VICTORY! All I need to do is go back to Middle-earth, remind everyone I’m God-King, squish the few remaining elves, and then, then we’ll get down to some SERIOUS paperclip-maximalisation. Everything and everyone will be like clockwork automata run by me. Yay. Also no dogs.

I appear to have been defeated by an alliance of elves and men. Again. And they took the ring into which I invested a vast amount of my power, magic, authority and self-esteem.