In the 6th century, a sailor threw a bottle at a whale off the coast of Constantinople. In response,the whale spent the next 50 years sinking so many ships off the Byzantine coast it was named Porphyrios after the giant who attacked Olympus & the Emperor unsuccessfully dedicated his reign against it
Can you imagine being that sailor? For the rest of your life: 'Hey, aren't you the guy who-', 'Hey, where are you going with that bottle?', 'But have you tried apologizing to the whale?', 'Are you really telling me you couldn't find a bin that day?' It would never stop.
I think this story is how I started following you on twitter too.
All of this could have been prevented if the sailor also threw the whale a bottle opener.
Emperor: "Aye, aye! It was that accursed purple whale that razeed me; made a poor pegging lubber of me for ever and a day! … and I'll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn … this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that purple whale … till he spouts black blood and rolls fin out."
really fucked over hemingway. dick move
before the War on Terror, there was the War on Whale
That is some crazy sh*t. I thought I'd seen some insane road rage on the highways of Southern California.
Now we know who the Orca revere most.
Plot twist: the whale was a recovering alcoholic 🐳🍸