Honestly, I feel like one of the really shitty and often unnoticed side effects of the last ten years of progressives on social media over-focusing on policing language and terminology, it’s forgetting that not only can a good ally use the “wrong” word, but an enemy can EASILY use the “right” ones.
You gotta know your enemy. They are good at dressing up their regressive beliefs in progressive language. Sometimes I just ask "hey can you explain what you mean by X?"
This is why I regret everything
Back in the 90s, this kind of deception is what we were talking about when we railed about "political correctness." However, the right has poisoned this well to such a degree, in the intervening years, that we can't even use this phrase to talk about it anymore.
The eagerness with which white progressives seized upon new terminology as a stick to beat non-native speakers of English (nearly all POC) was a huge red flag
I knew a guy who consistently disregarded women and talked down to them who also added the slack bot that corrected people when they said "you guys"
Something something the devil knows the bible backwards and forwards something. (Don't ask me. I'm a heretic.)
That, and being unable to keep up with the constantly changing terminology makes it so easy to piss off an ally without meaning to. And it IS constantly changing.
there is zero critical thinking--everything has been turned into a black and white "rule" with no context, thought, or understanding and it has quickly become exhausting and damaging.