I'm thinking about hanging a sign on my office wall that just says "it's not defamation." Then getting a couple of those little confetti poppers for the magical day when I get to tell someone they can ignore the sign.

Pull a key off your belt. Dramatically unlock a drawer, which you open to reveal a single black sharpie. Pick up the sharpie, stand up, turn around and carefully cross out the “not”. When they leave, order a new sign