So if I’m to give up energy drinks, I need b12 supplements that are allergen safe, and I need some other sort of nice beverage I can drink for pleasure. Even just juice would be fine. But I’m not giving a food/beverage up unless it’s on my long list of allergens, I already have so few choices.

I can’t eat corn, or soy, or wheat, or egg, or rice. I gave up cake, I gave up sushi, I gave up peanut butter, I gave up all forms of alcohol, I gave up fast food, there is so very little I’m allowed to put in this body that I won’t have an allergy reaction to. I’m not allergic to energy drinks.

So they want me to do supplements instead, except I’m allergic to the corn starch in the supplements, but they’ll give me a b12 injection for $30 not covered by insurance. Smells like upselling to me. Just refill my damn med.

CyberMaxx! The home VR solution for the mid-90s. One that'll have you rocking about in your chair to play Doom II. Does sound a bit awkward ;;

So only if my waifu is Gregor, got it.

And it’s not that my life is bad. My life is good. I’m carrying trauma from when my life wasn’t good. But explaining how I got from there to here takes a long time.

I can’t dig into my PTSD issues if a therapist can’t stick around for at least five sessions, because it takes that long to explain my terrible confusing life situation. And I can’t dig into PTSD issues over the phone when I can’t fucking hear.

I would like a therapist that I can collaborate with to find solutions to my mental problems. But I keep getting shuffled between crappy therapist that are unreliable, so they end up being nothing but medication gatekeepers.

I have very little optimism about the new therapist. So long as they refill my adhd meds and don’t make me do telehealth appointments we’ll be okay, but I have no optimism that they’ll be of any use for anything but being a gatekeeper for my meds.

And oddly enough, none of the stuff I saw at Sturgis scarred me. As a child seeing public nudity and public sex and public drugs and leather gear and all that, that stuff didn’t negatively affect me, my grandparents turning their deli into a hotdog stand every year was very Bob’s Burgers.