You guys wanna see a dead body? *selfies*

you can take me hot to go and forget me overnight in the car. you will never get my stench out of the seats, my dude

I use the tears of my enemies as bidet water

The same day words tied me tighter to the darkness, came words that filled it with stars.

*burps, wipes mouth with napkin* Oh, dear. Pardon me! *proceeds to swill the seven troughed seas and every earthquaking continent*

I’ll show you my siouxsie if you show me your and the banshees

my grandmother held the apple and the knife in her freckled vellum hands peeling the green skin in a continuous curl that never slipped she was not afraid of the blade until i tried to mimic her choreography and the white dish towel bled bright red from my fat little thumb

Let’s go for a drive. You sing the bass line and do the drum tappies and I’ll do the melody and the meedly-meedly-mees on the guitar solo near the end and we’ll take turns being lead singer and everyone on this public bus will glare at us.

just once I'd like to wake up in an ancient crypt not knowing how I got there or what adventures have been ordained for me

“carbs and vaccines are poisons” says the lady injecting botulinum neurotoxins into her face