That's a Whale of a joke you have there.

If your burritos are causing liquidated damages, you're buying them in the wrong place, but I may be misreading your announcement.

Rudolph with your nose so bright won't you . . . ahem . . . guide my sleigh tonight?

Was he 19 when it happened or is he 19 now and 14/15 then?

I never watched The West Wing, so if this is apocryphal/inspired by the show, it spread to me some other way.

Let Frantic Bathroom Deletion have its moment!

I remember a story about Janet Reno refusing to negotiate the price of a car below MSRP because she wanted to avoid the appearance of impropriety.

Even for the President-is-a-title-for-life-crowd, where do they get to referring to Vance as "VP"?

Thanks. Are there no state charges possible because all of the acts occur across state lines?

Can you explain for a layman what's keeping him from being arrested for some of these (or did I miss that part)?