New academia reality tv show in which hundreds of highly trained candidates get winnowed down to one champion, who is awarded the opportunity to teach intro classes outside their speciality with no research support!

*dramatic music* Committee chair: Your challenge will be to describe your ideal course....while incorporating a novel each of the other committee members teaches regularly without insulting them by offering an interpretation of that novel that they.. Me, in cutaway: *sweating profusely*

The winner obviously gets a multi-year contract worth hundreds of millions of dollars, right?

You have to tell the committee chair, who is for some reason RuPaul, that it was an incredible experience just to be there

Also, they will make far less money than most people assume.

This is so haunting.

They keep coming back to the contestants who dropped out and found a job that doesn't aspire to anything noble or worthwhile but pays 4 times more money than the current winner

What's My Non-Tenure Line?

And no training on how to teach.

I think I was on that? My first job 2 of my assigned classes were World Literature pre-1500. I'm a specialist in contemporary Indigenous American literature.

Fun bonus: it'll be in the absolute middle of nowhere, good on your life outside of work!