I used to feel like I was loved, I used to feel I was welcomed by friends, but slowly I've been feeling more and more forgotten. I've come to accept that it's on me to annoy people to remind them I exist, cause if I'm not there, they don't care enough to remember me
It hurt seeing someone that you cared so much not give a fuck about you, not care in the slightest you are there. They never knew, they never cared and I'm the one paying thx life. I really want to stop having a soul and a brain.
I'm on my mid year vacation, but I've been feeling the loneliest and most tired I've felt in months. Every time I talk to someone I feel them wishing they could be doing anything else, idk who can I trust, when every time I'm with someone I know they want to go away, and I'm just being a burden
It's really hard not giving up, specially cause it seems that every day I feel a little good about myself, everything that day makes sure I go back to feeling how I was..
I was an idiot to think I mattered to people, I thought someone could like me for who I am,it took two people immediately shoving down my face I was never important to them, and now I know I was so wrong to think I was to think people would Idk if I'm getting better, if no, we'll meet in the styx
I'm pissed at how bipolar uni is, people tell me: "Dude, this is gonna be the best time in your life" 2s later "EVERYONE HERE WILL CRY BLODD BECAUSE MATH 7 IS ON THE SCHEDULE' 2s later "oh don't worry as long as you read a bit you'll be fine"and then again fear, Do they want me here or nah??!
Hopefully this doesn't bother anyone I just need to vent urgently, It's a fucked up joke, the fact that I've been pressured my whole life to go into college, and I don't really feel I can do it, I dont get support to follow my dreams :3