People are upsetti that the Nintendo alarm clock can't scan your body if you're in bed with another person. Buddy, I have some sour news for you. If you're the kind to spend a hundred bucks on a novelty game clock, any relationship you're in is already a ticking time bomb. Enjoy it while it lasts.

I have the previous Nintendo alarm clock somewhere here in this house and I don't even know where. Also, a spider just crawled out of the couch I sat on. These are my credentials. Take them as you will.